♪♫Good morning, Star Shine

♪♫the K says hello …

Hope you are all doing well. I haven’t written in a while, so I thought I’d say ♪♫hello! Life is hard lately. I started doing the food/fitness thing, went to a nutritionist and she said 1100 kcal and see you in 4-6 weeks! Yeah right. Has she not heard that there is such a thing as low metabolism when you starve someone? ♪♫hello!! “Ok, enough of the hellos already,” I can hear you from here! O-tay!

Anyway – it is tough. The diet/fitness. The anxiety! The sexual abuse maybe/maybe not thing. The depression-bipolar-anxiety thing. Yes I said anxiety already. Sigh-YUH! (and again).

So, I am not writing, and I don’t know if the not writing is helping or not. I do plan to do Nano Camp in July.

So, yeah. I’ve wanted to blog. And I miss you guys. I also had to stop most of my blogging friend notifications, so I am depending upon the Reader when I read. It is not the same as an email saying so-and-so posted. Definitely not. Did I tell you I miss you? But I was getting to be a worse mess than I am, and something had to go, call it a diagnostic test, in a way.

The meds are out of whack, I am pretty sure. I’m thinking about a second opinion. I’ve had a number of adjustments, and it is just not working. I am not hospital or partial-hospital bad, but almost.

I am also having difficulty regarding some of my ministries at church. One of them was bringing some people to choir practice and/or early to church. High maintenance people, emotionally, and I am the sponge. That had to go, even though it doesn’t “make sense,” after all, I’m going that way, right? Well, tough! It is hurting me and my sanity! Did I tell you how impossibly hard it is for me to say no? But I have to. I am going insane. That’s just one “minor” thing.

Did I tell you what is right? God goes with me wherever I go, whether I feel Him with me or not, see Psalm 139. Also, I have not drank or drugged or done anything self-destructive, except for talking to myself not-nicely, and I am working on that. Also, and this is not minor at all, I have some a-may-zing friends IRL (in real life)! It is so, so important in this mental health and spiritual journey. Get some!

What else. Did I tell you I miss you, and “here”? I miss writing, and sorting things out in my mind, and reading some of your blogs, and just hanging out. I may have to rethink this. But not today. Today, I am just “here.” That’s enough!

Well, I will just leave this at “that,” I’ve got things to do and people to see (a nice one. She helps). Ta, ta, and all that. LOVE AND PRAYERS for any of you reading this. xo and ttyl!

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28 thoughts on “♪♫Good morning, Star Shine

  1. Terri Carrigan

    Hey  sweetie  should you be doing this?? (blog) How is your day?? Mine is good. Kinda slow so it is a long one.. XOXO

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  2. Elihu

    So sorry you are having a tough time! I’m not a nutritionist, but please don’t starve yourself… It’ll only make you feel worse. Low blood sugar can really mess with mood. I really like my Fitbit one because it keeps track of my activity and I can enter my calories in my app that syncs with the tracker. It helps keep me in balance. That way I’m not overeating or under eating. Just an idea. Praying for you. Keep digging into the Word like you’re doing. It’s an excellent stabilizer.

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    1. kbailey374 Post author

      Thank you! I have thought about getting a fit bit. It’s good to know you like it! Yeah I do have trouble w/ my blood sugar sometimes. No danger the last 2 days since I have been in total rebellion against the nutrician! Or whatever she is called 🙂

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  3. Laura Droege

    I’m sorry things are rough right now. Feel free to take breaks from blogging and writing; it can be emotionally draining for me, I know. And good for you for saying “no” to high maintenance people’s demands. That’s tough to do but very important for us bipolars to learn! Prayers for you!

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  4. Kitt O'Malley

    Love and prayers to you, too. Welcome back. Glad to hear that you have amazing friends in real life. I’m to go out with some tonight. A bit anxious, actually. I expect to know at least one woman. The others, I’m not so sure about…

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  5. peggyricewi

    “Here” is good!
    Miss you. I know what you mean about using The Reader to catch up on blogs – I’m otherwise overwhelmed by my inbox – there are only a few that get there, the rest I read when I can. (you get to the inbox immediately😉). Glad you are taking care of you – saying “no” can be hard, but I discovered that building space into my days is a requirement for fighting depression. And that meant saying “no” to lots of good things. Or maybe some are “no” and some are “check with me later” (which could still end up as “no.”
    Anyway, miss you, praying for you.

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