Ulla – Beyond the Yellow Brick Road

I happened back on this blog post I’d written in 2016, because I saw something while tripping around WP, that reminded me of Ulla, a WordPress friend who’d committed suicide. I re-read what I wrote, and maybe now I am not so judgmental as I was back then, even though I clearly know that I loved her with all my heart. Please read, and then read my comment to follow. Thanks!

Walking After Midnight:

I hate to write this. And after many revisions, trying to articulate this clearly, I am just going to click “Publish,” and call it good. After one more read, then I will. And then one more.

Our Dear Ulla, a fellow bipolar blogger known as “Blahpolar,” who entertained us, saddened us, instructed us, inflamed us, embarrassed us, left us. She took her life, and now she’s gone.

I loved you right away, Ulla, loved reading your irreverent prose. The F bombs, the rants, the things we all want to say but can’t. The extremes of anger and sadness. I wanted to loosen my lips, but not THAT much. Being around it, I started to think it. I have no way to explain, only that it wasn’t good for me and the life I was trying to live. So I left off reading your daily blog. I tried reading you once…

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1 thought on “Ulla – Beyond the Yellow Brick Road

  1. kbailey374 Post author

    So sad to re-read this. 😦

    I think about Ulla’s friends too. I noticed while doing a search that some of them are also thinking of her. This month is the anniversary of her death 5 years ago.

    When a person dies, we can’t know their hearts; what has ever transpired between them and the Lord at any point in their lives. I think Ulla told me that when she was young she made a profession of faith to receive Jesus Christ as her Savior. But I’m not positive. Here, in short, is the Gospel of Jesus Christ:

    1 Corinthians 15:1-16
    “… the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present …”

    But, when you receive salvation (forgiveness of sin and a promise from God that you may enter Heaven), does this mean that a Christian is then rendered perfect? As I am sure everyone reading this has seen, we do NOT become white as snow. Not at all! Some of us backslide alll the way. I can’t judge anyone for what they do or don’t do, EXCEPT to tell those who are NOT saved that God DOES judge, and that there is a way to make it right!

    The Bible makes many references to salvation being eternal, always, forever, everlasting, permanent. So I have hope, both for Ulla, and for others that I have loved, that they may have made this transaction: confessed sin to God, repented of that sin, believed Jesus shed His blood and died for their sin, and that He will forgive them when they do. And then God will one day “… wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

    I sure do miss Ulla, and I sure do hate this stupid disease. I don’t think we are any further along in treating bipolar than we were in September, 2016. If anything, we are more depressed, more unstable, here in 2021. We know that there are significant earthly explanations, so we are fighting against the odds all the harder. There is a huge spiritual battle going on as well! We need each other! Find a support group of peers, for sure.

    And I just pray that people get right with God. That’s all. Time is short, look at the obituaries and see how young many people are when they pass away. Did they plan to die that day? Don’t leave us now before YOUR miracle happens! Your life could be drastically different and better a year from now! Don’t lose hope! Get right with God – and get hope!

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