Well, I haven’t written for a while. Not sure why not. I did finish writing my “Secret Santa” blog, and since then I’ve been on “E.”
I mean, I can think of things to write about, I suppose, but then I will have to
kill you invest in it. And I just don’t feel like it. I’m not depressed, I don’t think. That is mostly gone (see previous whining months of January through April)
Ok, I know, it’s not whining, it’s DEPRESSION. It’s a real thing. And I don’t think that’s what’s going on.
But at the same time, it’s interesting that I chose the song lyric I did for the title of this post. I am feeling a little burdened.(“Well, the girl is ‘saved,’ whatever that is, she’s a Christian. Aren’t they supposed to be happy, unburdened? Why, if she’s a Christian, is she so miserable?”)Well, that’s what I think you think. I think it’s a little bit what I think. But it’s not true. I am happy about being a Christian, I am happy I’m saved, and generally I’m a happy and positive person.But this danged mental illness thing, well (scrape scrape) I can’t seem to get it off my skeeee-in!Ok well will yew just quit a talkin about it and write already???
Ok, well I will.
I feel burdened by my appetite for one thing. I was thinking last night, I can’t stop eating! But it’s not just that; it’s more like, I don’t want to stop eating! And that’s the case again tonight. I ordered a nice meal from a restaurant and I am pretty sure it’s not going to be enough 😦
Is it the medication? or is it my soul? my longing, my loneliness? Ugh I hate to even think that I could be lonely. I’m not like that. So … let’s eat!
I also thought that my readers might be wondering where I am, what’s going on, so I really ought to write. Do you care that way? I know when I don’t hear from you guys I wonder. So, here I am! (waving) – I’m not suicidal or even thinking morose thoughts.
Oh and another thing that has burdened me some. I got a credit card. Yippee! You know what a credit card does though? It makes you think of all the things you want, or the things that you want to do. My list keeps growing. I stare at jewelry. Me! Jewelry! I’ve also watched a couple of QVC type shows! One was for cookware! Cookware? I don’t even cook!
And the greatest fantasy: Paris! I have always wanted to go! I’m this side of 60 and I think I will always regret it if I never go! (Should I stay or should I go now?)
But that’s not why I got the card, right? To make myself miserable with want? Well yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking. I know! I’m not unhappy enough, let’s drive myself batty!
No, seriously, one of the things I wanted to do was put the balance of a high interest card, onto this card from my bank that has no interest for a year. Let’s get that balance down, baby!
So what do they do? They give me a $5000. credit limit! What the heck is wrong with them? They’re my bank! Don’t they know better??
It really is driving me nuts! I guess the time has come for me to send the card to Georgia.
Not the State. My friend, Georgia. She’ll guard it …
So about that burdened soul. A little less burdened, here.
This is the song, called At Calvary
Years I spent in vanity and pride,
Caring not my Lord was crucified,
Knowing not it was for me He died on Calvary.
Mercy there was great, and grace was free;
Pardon there was multiplied to me;
There my burdened soul found liberty at Calvary…
The song is based on Luke 23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
If you want to read about how this led to people being saved from their sin, check out I Know A Love!